Life revision

Life changes. Definitely some life changes going on here.

A couple of weeks ago Jamon came at me with a series of questions and statements. They were enlightening and poignant questions that really struck home and caused a good amount of prayer, discernment and change.

It started with "Man, Jess, you used to be so open, happy and kind. What's happening? You seem so much more unhappy, un open and not as nice as you used to be." and "Is your spiritual life okay? You seem pretty off." Of course I immediately got defensive. Who wouldn't? But I calmed down and realized he's right. I used to be a pretty nice girl. I had friends and was open to pretty much anyone and everyone. I used to be happy... maybe joyful is the better word. Yep, joyful. Now I have happy moments, joyful moments, but nothing like I used to be. And yep, I used to be quite a bit more charitable. I was much less cynical of people. So what happened?!

Along the way I got burnt out. Burnt out of people not being honest, burnt out of people judging, burnt out on hypocrisy. It has been a slippery slope of writing people off, passing judgments that are unnecessary and allowing others comments about me or actions towards me to affect me too deeply. These little things have inevitably, having gone unchecked, led me to a place of unhappiness and victimization. This is not to say that I'm perfect. Obviously not, let's go back to the original line of questioning. Judgey Jess. Just because I feel judged or maligned  I do not have the freedom to judge people back. Duh. Hypocrisy at it's finest. So I'm working on not ruling out people because I assume they're ridiculous. I don't know them, they certainly don't know me. I still haven't received a hello from probably half of this weird little town, and I haven't given a hello either. I've lived in this town as a victim of cliques and a holier than though mentality. I'm not going to allow myself to feel like a victim anymore. I'm going to enjoy the blessings that God has given me. The people that I do enjoy in this town (yes, there are definitely some great people here) and then not worry about the rest. I won't assume. I will be open. I can know and believe that no one here is perfect, and although I feel that many project to be, I'm sure everyone has their cross. Who am I to judge?

*Side note* Although I will make an effort to embrace and not to judge... I so desperately wish that I lived in a normal town, like Austin, or Naples, or somewhere with some diversity. All in Gods time and will right?! In the mean time I've got to remind myself that He has us here for a reason and I've got to strive to be thankful for it.

As far as spirituality goes, I realized I wasn't doing a very good job at fulfilling my vocation. Vocation #1 - Wife, Vocation #2 - Mom... everything else is pretty extra. Instead I will filling my time with #1 admin assistant , #2 CrossFit Coach, #3 Mom, #4 Wife. No wonder I was not in a place of joy or peace. I was all out of order. I was definitely not a good mom. every moment I was home I was stressed because I was miserable for many reasons at #1. #2 was a nice escape and #3 and #4 suffered. So I quit #1. SWEET FREEDOM!!!!! Now I'm nervous as heck that #1 will fall apart without me. But little reality check, I probably wasn't as awesome as I thought. :) I'm sure everything will move along just fine. Can I tell you how nice it is to be home with my boys. It is AWESOME. It's 11:00 now and they are both down for their morning naps. When they wake up it'll be lunch time and then we're heading to the children's museum... something I've wanted to do for 5 months since it opened. I'm hugging and kissing and reading stories and baking cookies and on and on. My boys are happy. Their mommy is happy and I feel like I finally got something back in it's right place. Jamon is happy since now he actually gets a cooked meal at night. The joy of being home. I still have a job.. two jobs actually. I'm still coaching a Cross Training Class here in Ave, and I'm also a Coach at a CrossFit gym in Naples. Fitness is something I'm passionate about, and I enjoy helping others realize and achieve their fitness goals. I definitely hink that this little outside job is quite the blessing. The boys get the spend extra time with their dad and I get to do something that helps make me a better person. Like Jamon always says "Fitness is the gift that keeps on giving." When I'm healthy I'm a better wife, mom, friend, employee.

Basically, that's about it. Down one job, more time with my family, less cynicism on my end. Prayer, prayer, prayer. I finally feel like maybe I'm making strides to be who God desires me to be. To be in a place that is fulfilling, peaceful and joyful (note, I didn't say easy... I know easy doesn't usually happen. :) )

I hear the boys stirring. Time to start making some pizza - Corban's lunchtime request.

Peace.

Just like I pictured

I will make no apologies for being the worlds worst blogger. (although rest assured, I do have heaping piles of guilt)

Now to pretend like I haven't just NOT blogged for the past 10 months or whatever.
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Today was one of those awesome days when life was just like you always pictured it would be. Smiles, breezes, and love.

All was right in the world. Corban and Blaise were pure joy. I'm serious, they did not have one meltdown, one screaming fit. They literally danced and sang all day. They played by themselves. They helped me cook and clean. They danced with their daddy and me. I'm totally cheesing as I think about it. In the evening - after we napped, we all sat out on the back lanai and enjoyed the perfect weather and the breeze. They boys colored and golfed. My toes are literally curling at the sheer perfection this day was to me. Then we ate an awesome dinner. Zucchini Lasagna. Anyone having a baby anytime soon... this is what you're getting from me. It was SO GOOD.

This morning Corban did not wake up until 6:20 this morning! When 4:00am is his usually rise and shine time the extra 2 hours was glorious. When he did wake up he just crawled into our bed and started singing some song about apple seeds. Cute. He and I then got out of bed to open his Easter basket so daddy could sleep a couple more hours.  Blaise woke up around 6:45 and we all had a mommy/ baby boy party. We sang, we danced, we said our prayers and ate breakfast. Carrot Cake for all. Milk for the boys and coffee for me. Awesome mom award please. the day continued on in this awesome fashion. I won't bore you with the details. Just know that my heart is soaring. I am BLESSED and I am THANKFUL.

HAPPY EASTER 2012!!!!!

Moving right along. Here are some things of worth:

*Blaise turns ONE, *Sigh - gasp* next week. HOW did this happen? Oh my word, here come the tears. I am SO emotional. That kid is totes awesome. He is walking up a storm. He smiles ALL the time. He is also learning sign language, or rather, we are learning his sign language. Blaise is an awesome little brother. my heart explodes with love for this little dude,

*Corban is almost 2.5. This little spark is wild. He is non stop running, shooting hoops, talking, kissing, singing. He can go potty on the big boy potty (insert applause here) (Oh, and all applause shall be directed at the Montessori school that taught him.) He can loud and proud sing his ABC's and count 1,2,5,10. He will always ask for "5 mo minutes." And if you ever ask him the time for anything his answer will always be 2:30. His favorite food is pizza. He asks for it everyday. Nice try bucko. He loves shooting hoops and playing with his friends. We have conversations about Jesus, school, friends, food... anything. I LOVE this guy.

*Jamon and I have both received our CrossFit Level 1 certification. Very exciting. I've been coaching and programming a cross training class here in Ave for the past almost 8 months and it was nice to be able to kick it up a notch with some more knowledge. I love this stuff. Ask me about it... not to get too over the top... but Crossfit is quite definitely for everyone.

*J and I have been blessed to have quite a few "get-aways" lately. The past month the two of us have traveled to Uniontown, PA for 8 days for the USCAA basketball tournament. We finished 3rd. Orlando for a weekend of CrossFit training, and then New Orleans with my brother and sis-in-law for the Final 4. In two weeks were heading to West Palm Beach with some friends for CrossFit regionals, where Jamon is COMPETING. Stud. I'm married to a total stud. 

I'm sure there is more. Lots more. But these are all the tasty morsels you get for now. Jamon just got home from workout #2 and I'm going to spend some quality time with the huz. Carrot cake again please.

Please don't judge my poor writing skills, bad grammar, etc...

I'm just trying to put my heart out there and never did understand sentence structure or what all the different punctuation things were for. I think I may over use commas.

Loving life folks. Thank you Jesus for our life.

Deep, real deep.

True story... I now having mom hips, birthing hips, call 'em what you want. These old hipsters have not gone back down to my normal size. Oh well. Whatever it takes to have these two awesome boys.

Now on to less self-centered matters.

Our God is a merciful God. He is good to me.

A couple of weeks ago I had a moment. One really long moment when I was near the depths of despair. I had just received an email from babycenter.com telling me that my 6 week old should be smiling at me and recognize me. This of course had not happened and the disclaimer at the bottom of the email telling me that all babies develop at their own pace did not ease my tension. I threw myself into a tailspin believing with everything in me that I was a horrible mother. That all of my attention was on Corban (since he DEFINITELY requires more interaction and attention) and thus Blaise was totally getting the raw end of the deal. How could he possible know who I was?! I did not spend hours looking at him and coo'ing at him like I did when Corvban was a baby. Blaise was just another person in CX's world. horrible horrible horrible. I couldn't hardly look anyone in the eye out of sheer guilt at my lack of mothering equality. Jamon took me on a date and there I felt assured enough of his unconditional love to share with him how horrible of a mother his wife was. When I was finished crying about the situation he looked at me incredulously and made it very clear that I was under attack. Spiritual warfare (c'mon, we know it's out there).  I was clinging to the lies of "the world.": "You can't have more than one ,maybe two children,if you have more how will you ever take care of them, they will not get the love they need from you, they won't be well-taken care of... they will LACK." and on and on. I totally bought in to it. Until Jamon loving assured me that Blaise was the best gift we could have ever given Corban and Corban was the best thing to happen to Blaise, as will be every child we are blessed with hereafter. They will lack nothing. They will be LOVED. True, TRue, TRUE! I was immediately relieved of the guilt I had been feeling. We said a prayer together to continue to be the parents God wants us to be and to do everything we can to make sure our family gets to heaven. AMEN. On we go with our date. Fast forward to 4am. Blaise's regularly scheduled feeding time, usually we are both groggy and just getting through a feeding. Not that night. God in His intense love gave me the moment I longed for. As I was putting him down to sleep again I laid him on my pillow instead of his bed. When I returned from getting a drink of water I laid down to look at him to talk to him and smile at him. And the moment I was near him he SMILED. BIG SMILE. the kind that makes my insides mushy as I was overcome with such joy and love. My littlest man and I shared stories and smiles from 4-5:30 am. Just the two of us. and it was AWESOME. He did know me. He knows his mom and he knows I love him. The "attack" was just that. God showed me through the smile of my sweet little baby. Blaise, even though he does not get the same attention that CX did when he was born, knows his mom and knows love. What more could I ask for?

Anyway. Just thought I'd share. Tomorrow (ha, we'll see) I've got another awesome recipe. We're talking total delish. Like I wish I could eat the whole thing, but know it must be bad for me because it tastes so good, and then realizing that I could eat the whole thing because it's SO good for me. Winner!!!

Our date night.

That smile. Oh my goodness. I love.

Sweet, sweet Corban, I want to freeze moments like this. carefree, loving life moments.

a review in pics.

One day before labor ensued. Could it have been the sparkling wine that encouraged Blaise to come 2 weeks early?

BLAISE is here!!!! My heart grows. LOVE, love, love this little man.

I love my boys and their sweet special love for each other.

Blaise can sleep everywhere. He's three weeks old here.

First official family pic! Matchy match.

LOVE.

Feet. Ahhhh. Feet. I adore baby feet. Look how small and perfect.

My sweet littlest baby.

Handsome little man. I'm amazed by him daily.

Date night (kind of) at the athletic banquet. I worked, Jamon held Blaise, but we made do. Love this man.

stop it right now. 4 weeks already.

Corbans face, my face. Thankful he loves his brother so much but sometime have to raise my eyebrows at just how hard he loves him.

enough love to go around. snuggles for all the boys,

5 weeks., SERIOUSLY. you're almost out of newborn clothes kiddo. *sob*

, 

Memorial day weekend at the beach. Please ignore my boxy hair-do... a she-mullet for sure. Someone please get me a mirror.

Corban is a beach baby for sure. He can't get enough of the sand and water.

Heading out.

garbanzo bean cookies

Hello blogosphere.

There are about a million things I should be blogging about. 1. a new baby 2. an 18 month old 3. summer work 4. Gods abundant Grace 5. awesome huz 6. etc etc etc

 and I'll get to those when I have more than a 5 minute window in which to type. 

But instead you're going to get my newest obsession in the world of desserts.  Seriously LOVE this dessert. Don't judge... It tastes JUST like Chocolate chip cookies, but stays moist longer.

Deep-Dish Cookie Pie
(High in fiber… and gluten-free!)

• 2 cans organic garbanzo beans (drained and rinsed) (500g)
• 1 cup oatmeal (next time I'm using ground Flax)
• 1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 3 T grapeseed oil
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• 1 and 1/2 cups brown sugar (I'm still trying to figure out a way to not use brown sugar... agave? Stevia etc... I'll let you know when I come up with something else)
• 1 cup organic dark chocolate chips

So easy to make!
Blend everything (except the chips) very well in a food processor. Mix in chips, and pour into an oiled pan. Cook at 350F for around 35 minutes. Let stand at least 10 minutes before removing from the pan.

Go ahead, make and enjoy.

Now signing off until I have a moment to breathe and I can pry my hands from the wine bottle (straw inserted.) Enjoy your cookies!

Jess

My like for groupon and other stuff

Let me start by stating my deep like for Groupon.

A couple of weeks ago they enticed me to purchase a killer deal for a cruise to the Bahamas. Jamon was convinced it would be the best babymoon ever. Agreed. We found some wonderful friends to babysit Corban for the weekend and headed to west palm beach to board the boat for a weekend of fun in the sun. So hopeful, so naive. We get to the dock and got through all of the rigamaroll you have to, to get on and literally, as we're walking on to the boat someone asks me if I'm pregnant. Um yep. Definitely. How far along you ask... oh 35 weeks or so. Now here comes the raincloud. "The US Coast Guard has a cut off of 24 weeks pregnant to cruise." Oh, did I say 35 weeks, I meant 20 with twins. :) Needless to say, we weren't able to board, and I am still not a bahama mama. My awesome huz decided to make the best of it and took me to Chipotle. Oh delish!!!! And then we went to Mass in Boca Raton (Gorgeous town!) and then went to downtown Boca to people watch, stroll and grab a small dinner. It really was an awesome night. I love my huz. he seriously cracks me up. I always knew he was a "guys guys" but never before had I witnessed it in such force until we walked into starbucks. In Jamon's own words "Coffee shops make me weird." It's true, he stumbled with his words, wasn't sure what to get, who to talk to... thankfully we ended up deciding on a mocha for this tough guy. Not too sweet, not too blah. I don't think I've ever laughed as hard as I did when we got into the car and he confessed how uncomfortable he was in said coffee shop. he then proceeded to show me exactly how he felt about his coffee. This guy is a hoot. Excuse the fuzziness... iPhone doesn't work so well in the dark.

Oh J... it's not that girly. Just a mocha. It's not like you got an orange mocha chip frappacino.

So excited about his "hot chocolate with a kick."

 Anyway... about Groupon. This week i called them to let them know I couldn't use the coupon and would like a refund. I expected red tape, to be told no, to have to battle. No ma'am. Within 5 minutes my refund was in the works. No questions. Groupon... i will purchase from you again. Great customer service. I especially like the coupons for teeth whitening. I'm such a sucker for pearly whites... no one wants butter teeth. Chicklets please.

So tonight I was going to try to be suzy homemaker. I had some extra bananas, some gluten free flour, and a knack for baking. This is what came out: Banana "bread", more like banana mess. tasty. But not so pretty. I should've used more non-stick spray. Oh well.

Thankfully my little guy will eat just about anything! He likes the banana crumb. Here is a picture of how big he's getting:

He is mister personality. So friendly and loving. He's such a romeo. He blows kisses to everyone and kisses me all day. He also likes to put me in the "sleeper hold" WWF style. I think he learned that from Jamon - they wrestle a lot. Hey, I'll take affection however I can get it. Lately Corban has developed a love of music and dancing. As soon as I turn on the music on my phone he starts clapping, grabs my phone and starts busting some sweet moves. I've got to get it on film. He's got what Jamon and I call happy feet. And, lucky kid, he picked up my sweet signature move, the very one that won Jamon over when we were dating. He affectionately calls it the "J-bod special." Corban, you lucky lil guy, such great moves.

So here's the latest preggo pic followed by my newest food obsession:

36 weeks. Holler.

You read that right... Dark Chocolate and Peanut Butter nuts. Stop it right now. I will devour this entire container in a matter of minutes. I'm so happy!

That's about it for this lil up date. Happy Thursday night.

x's and o's.

Trash days

Today is trash day. Saturdays and Wednesdays. This morning as I was taking the trash out (early I might add since we've missed it the past two weeks... Gross!) I was reflecting on my adulthood. I was thinking about the exact point I can remember thinking... yep, I've arrived. Adulthood, hello. You might think this point was when I was first living on my own, or got a real job, or got married, or moved across the country with the huz. Nope, none of those points. The point I distinctly remembering realizing I had entered adulthood was a trash day, the Saturday one, and looking at Jamon as I was making breakfast and realizing that either him or myself needed to hurry and take the trash out if we hadn't already missed it. My dad, who if I remember correctly was always tasked with garbage duty, was not going to take the trash out for me. He was not going to just get it done. I actually had to think about trash days and bringing the garbage can out to the street. Hello adulthood. I'll have the garbage on the curb waiting for you. Suffice it to say, I've missed my fair share of trash pick ups. I forget... and where is my dad when the trash needs taken out? Sheesh.

That's it. That's all I've got this morning. Just wanted to share a moment with you.

I heart the sun.

Oh bloggity blog blog. My best intentions are never enough to keep you up to date.

Jamon and I recently went to Uniontown, PA for the USCAA (United States Collegiate Athletic Association) National tournament. His team was ranked 5th in the nation and was able to compete for the national title. Though we didn't win, we did play in the Championship game and can now say that we are a National Champ runner up. Exciting times for a program that is only 2 years old!!! Good job boys. It was a nice trip and I even got to relax one of the days... for a couple of hours. Otherwise, it was all basketball, cooking and driving. I loved it. The weather was cold and lovely. The resort we stayed at was breath-taking. www.nemacolin.com Gorgeous. The tough part... leaving my lil bud, Corban. he stayed back in warm sunny Florida to play with Oma and Opa for a few days and then Grandma for a few days. s.p.o.i.l.e.d. I could hardly wait to get back so I could hug and kiss him to pieces. 8 days is a long time to be away.

Though far from school, books are never far from these studious boys minds.

The whole basketball family - minus cx of course.

The boys after the amazing last second victory of the 2nd game. Whew....

Primanti Brothers... google it. SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!

After our cold little adventure in PA, I'm reminded even more so of how much I love Florida weather. We got back and it was in the 80's. Glorious.  Corban LOVES being outdoors... and I can handle it for a while, but this big ole belly is starting to bet a bit uncomfortable. Seriously, no room for air in my lungs, belly resting on my knees when I sit. so unattractive. Nonetheless we venture out to the beach occasionally. It is a good reminder of just how incredible blessed we are to live in such a beautiful city.

At the beach this past weekend. Loving some fun in the sun and sand.

Corban and Daddy venture towards the water. it didn't take long for fearless CX to run into the waves himself. Enough fearlessness to give his momma a heart attack.

Pregnancy is progressing along nicely. 34 weeks, and no recent picture to show for it. Trust... there's no denying a baby in this belly. My stomach constantly hops around like it's a bounce house for a family of maniacs. Blaise puts Corban to shame in the activity level department. Oh goodness. This past week or so I can tell I've become a lot more tired. Like exhausted, would take naps every three hours like Corban, if I could.  Small price to pay. I'm sure it's just Gods silly way of preparing me for going non-stop when Blaise gets here and I've got TWO little ones that I can shower with my love and attention. Get ready boys.

Speaking of boys... my window of computer time has come to a close. I hear Corban waking up from his nap, which means "go-time!" We've got to run to the adoration chapel... for Lent we're going every day. Corban is learning to genuflect... or air squat... we're not quite sure which he's mimicking. But he's picking something up. And I'm sure we're a good Lenten sacrifice for the people in the chapel as we barge in with CX who has yet to learn the meaning of Ssshhhhhh. Oh well...

kisses, workouts and sweet, sweet jeans.

Sweet, sweet kisses. My most cherished gifts from Corban. On valentines day this year my lil boy gave me his very first kiss. How did he know? That lil Romeo.

Every night before bed when we say good-night to Jesus, Corban kisses the crucifix but never his momma. That's okay I figure. As long as he loves Jesus. Well, Valentines night he kissed Jesus then put his hand around my neck and gave me the sweetest little kiss on my cheek. I melted. Seriously. Tears started welling up in my eyes. Oh to live that moment over and over again. Then Corban went back into his "no kisses for mom" ways until yesterday. Jamon was fixing to leave to take Corban to school and told him to "Go tell Mommy bye bye and you love her." So Corban went on his mission and found me getting ready for work. I bent down to kiss him bye and he threw both hands around my neck and kissed me on the cheek... TWICE! Oh the glory. Then he waved bye bye and walked away. Please stop little boy... stop growing up so fast. Love.

Valentines day was really nice this year. Jamon is not big on the day, but I love it. I'm sure it comes from growing up with a dad who always gave me a card and chocolates and a mom who made sure the day was special. This year I wasn't expecting anything from Jamon, maybe a special dinner request... but nothing fancy. Boy did he surprise me. That Casanova booked us for a dinner cruise. He took care of the babysitter and everything. I had no idea what we were doing until we got to Marco Island to the dock. So surprised and so awesome. The sunset was gorgeous, the food was delicious and the company was incomparable. It was such a nice time, just the two of us. I love that man.

Sunset cruise. Pre-sunset.

Lately I've been trying to figure out Jamon's love language. (Side note: if you haven't read "The five languages of love", you need to. So good) He says he's all of them, and in truth, we probably all are a little bit. But I'm trying to find the dominant one. I think I've finally got it. Jamon's Love language is working out. I kid you not. I think he feels most loved when we work out together, or shoot, even when I work out alone. I mentioned it the other day and he lit up "Eureka" style and agreed. So, in an act of love, this past Sunday I indulged Jamon in an outdoor work out. Weather was perfect and Corban was sleeping. We did 100 (YES 100) lunges and 105 burpees. My burpees were modified of course. My pregnant belly can't be jumping all over the place. My glutes are still burning today. I love you Jamon... I'll aahve the muscle tone to prove it too. :)

After our lunges and workout Hercules here decided to do some double-unders. Beast.

My 31 week pregnant belly showing the huz some love with a 45 lb bar. Relax... I did the 100 lunges with a 15 lb bar... the 45 was for show.

 

 

J Brand maternity jeans... yes please.

On another note I'd like to mention here how stinking hard it is to find maternity jeans that are not frumpy. Now don't get me wrong, I find an over the belly panel as comfortable as the next girl... but stylish in those pants, no way. I'm here now to impart on you something I've recently discovered. Maternity jeans that are so cute and comfortable that you could actually tuck a shirt into them if you wanted. (I only know this cause Angelina Jolie did... I saw it on people.com) the J BRAND maternity jeans are amazing. The pockets stretch. Genius. The bad news... those puppies are expensive. GAG! But my dear friend eBay allowed me a pair at a fraction of the cost. Thank you eBay! I am loving maxin' and relaxin' with my big ole belly in those heavenly jeans.

That's all I've got for tonight. Time to make some dinner for myself and clean up the house. Corban is asleep and Jamon is at an away basketball game.

Here are just a few more recent pics.

After our beastly workout we decided to go to the beach.. obviously to show off our now beach ready bods. (JUST kidding)

Daddy and Corban play in the water. Corban loved the beach. Definitely a Florida baby. He's got a wicked farmers tan to prove it.

These feet. I kiss them everyday. This is how he always sits in his high chair. Feet crossed as much as those chubby little legs allow. kiss kiss kiss.

Tonight during dinner right after bath time. Such a happy boy with his milk.

.

80 degrees... I love you Florida.

It never fails. I whine and feel sorry for myself and God laughs and shows me how to look at the brighter side, to realize just how truly good I have it. He also faithfully hugs me.

Not long after my last post I came across this gem: http://mychildiloveyou.blogspot.com/2011/02/emotions-of-mother.html HELLO!!!!! Spoken directly to me. Please note emotion #2. Perfection and validation. Truly, motherhood is a roller coaster... and I'm only 14 months in. :)

Also, after my lil heart sadness I was blessed to spend time with some wonderful women like 4 days in a row. Nice. I know God just smiles and says "See, you're not alone."

I wish I had some pics to post of Corban. We've been playing outside A LOT lately. Like before and after every nap. The weather is beautiful and we're definitely taking advantage of it. But rather than snap pics, I just play. Oh well. I wish I had a personal photographer who could follow me and CX around... along with a personal DJ. That would be awesome.

On a different note... today I googled "plush crucifix." Why? Corban has taken to only going to bed if he's holding a crucifix. Now this is all well and good and I'm glad he's chosen Jesus as his "cling to" item... but a crucifix to sleep. It makes me nervous. Those are not the softest things to snuggle with. Sadly, I cannot find any. The closest I came was the "Wee Believers" Mass kit. But that crucifix won't cut it. If you come across or think of anything, let me know. Otherwise, I'm going to have to get all crafty and figure something out on my own. Chances of that turning out well are not good. I'm about as not crafty as they come.

Off to the laundry room I go. I'm trying to get a grip on the massive amounts of clothes Corban and Jamon go through in a given day. I'm talking 2-3 outfits a day a piece. They must think I'm gross. I can sport the same get up for a couple days in a row no problem. Ugh. Time to go make it all Downy Fresh.

A couple pics, no reason, they're just semi recent. :)

Corban living the life. Snoozing while we go on our family bike ride last weekend. Looks comfortable eh?!

 

 

CX wondering why I'm taking his pic... it's because he had just busted his lip and refused to stop playing. This pic went to Jamon to prove that his son is as tough as they come. A lil blood never stopped anyone. Also, please look at his chubby lil fingers. AHHHHH, I LOVE them.

 

 

Jamon and his team getting a play together the last minute of a game. It was a nail biter.

"FAMILY" - that's how the team "breaks out" every huddle (Is it called a huddle in basketball?) These boys are definitely part of our family. Proud of all of them.

Lonely Debbie Downers

Tonight is one of those posts that is a bit soul baring.

Today was gorgeous out. Seriously gorgeous. 70, sunny, slight breeze. It's the reason you live in the south. Corban and I spent most of our afternoon at the baseball fields watching a double header. Go Gyrenes!!! They played great and won all of their games. :) Then we went home, napped and headed out to "town" again. Today in Ave a lot was going on. There was the state steak cook off (lots of delicious smells coming from those grills!), Family Fun day (think tons of games, funnell cake etc.... this happens frequently in Ave) as well as a little league tournament at Northpark and of course the double headers for both Baseball and Softball for the University. Jamon had an away game so it was just Corbs and me. I thought it would be nice to venture out and be a part of the town... and it was until I got to downtown where all the "happenin'" was. (Here's where I get "open")... I was surround by people, and lots that I knew and I was SO lonely. All I wanted was to be back in Austin or Dallas where I have close friends and family. It was an awful feeling to look around and see everyone having a great time and realize that I did not have one close friend there. Plenty of acquaintances, but no one to chat with. Back in Austin I could've gone to something like that and 1. had a friend to invite to go with me or 2. known enough people there well enough to have someone to talk to. I've lived here for TWO years... TWO!!!!! After six months you're supposed to be settled and feel at home. And I guess I do, until I'm thrust into a situation like today and I want nothing more than friendship. I feel like a loser to be honest. Corban and I went home after about 10 minutes and sat outside to play in the driveway. I then called Jamon in tears and he of course was great and listed as I cried and whined "But I'm nice and kind of fun... how come I have no friends." Such is my state in life I suppose. I'm still trying to come to terms with exactly what I'm feeling and what's going on. I suppose I'm much to blame for my lack of close friends. I haven't made the time or put in the effort to really develop any friendships. I don't call anyone, I don't invite anyone over or out. I basically just get by in my day to day. If I run into someone I'm THRILLED to chat it up and I leave loving life... but that happens on a rare occasion. There are LOTS of wonderful young women here... And I really like some of them... but I just don't invest time. I work all morning/afternoon, then I have corbs for only a bit, then Jamon gets home. Where is my social time? Not the weekends, those same wonderful ladies want to spend time with their working husbands too. So is that it? Do I resign myself to chatting with Corban and sitting by myself? Or just do nothing unless Jamon, my bestest friend, is home and can come with me? Ugh, what a debbie downers I am. But really, this was hard on my heart today. Anyway, I usually feel better after writing stuff out. This is no exception. I still need to have some more "heart to hearts" with our Lord and figure out my next step. I don't want to be lonely.

Jamon was sweet and after we talked he texted me later and said that I was his best friend. :) Jamon is definitely my best friend too. But man he's busy. :)

Thanks for reading. Keep me in your prayers.

Time for me to now figure out what to eat for dinner. I was craving delivery Chinese, but of course, no one delivers to Ave. (I called atleast 4 places!!! I want to be in a real town!) So looks like I'm going to try to make something on my own. General Tsos may never be the same.

A lil throw back to the first month my besty and I started dating. Good times at Key Bar.

2011 already?

Ugh. Blogging for me becomes so guilt ridden when I haven't done it in a decent amount of time. I feel like there is too much to write and not enough time to write... so i don't write at all.

However, tonight the new season of American Idol is on and it's awful = nothing to watch on TV. Corban went down at 7pm, Jamon is at an away game, I've already done laundry, cleaned the house etc. Basically, i have no distractions or excuses. So here I am. Christmas has passed, New Years has Passed, Dr.s appointment where we found out officially that we're having a boy has passed... all with no noteworthy blog. Lame. Oh well.

So one thing I can always write about is Corban. I know that all parents think that their baby is the cutest, and the smartest etc... and that every moment with them is the best. And I suppose it's true and I'm no exception. I love that lil guy. He makes me smile everyday and I wish I had a camcorder with me to film him all of the time. I want to forget nothing. He changes so much everyday and his little personality shines through more and more. He is a little people person. Example... the other day we were out playing in the front yard, just the two of us. He was fine until he heard people about 7 houses down. he took off and ran towards them, arms outstretched, hollering. He couldn't wait to get over there to say hi. If there are people around, he's in the middle of them, chattering and playing. I LOVE watching this. Lately he's taken to "making an entrance." Yesterday when he walked into the gym for basketball practice he threw his hands in the air and hollered. All the guys turned around to welcome him. He was definitely in his element. I think he could stay in the gym with the boys all day if he was given the opportunity. He makes this little entrance on a regular basis, at the grocery store, school, work, the gym, neighbors houses. Love, love love.

So, officially we are having a little boy. I've always known, but the Dr. confirmed it. His name will be Blaise Dominic. He is growing and moving like a lil champ. I'm 26 weeks now, so he's about 2 lbs and 14 inches long. Unbelievable. I also can't believe I'm over half way there. There is still so much to do and plan and think about. At some point Jamon and I will have to sit down and actually talk about what's going to happen when he gets here. CRAZY! Two lil boys under 2 years old. I'll be a busy momma. I am so excited about this new little life. I look at Corban and how much my heart overflows for him and can hardly wait for his brother to get here for me to love on too.

So this pregnancy has been different from Corban in 1 way. I haven't worked out as much. Other than that... same ole, same ole. My Dr. kindly points out every visit that I need to hit the gym more, and I try. But man it's tough. No time. Times like this I wish I lived in a town with a YMCA that had babysitting. Oh well. Jamon tries as hard as he can to make the time to watch CX so I can get in a sweat. Usually it involves Corban watching basketball practice. Win win.

Tonight while blogging I made baked apples. So delish. They are my new favorite dessert since I've been banned from carbs and sweets. (I'll be real with you for a sec though... i do sneak a Dove dark chocolate on occasion. I love those little tasty morsels of goodness.) This no carb thing has been interesting. I've modified and said no simple carbs... only complex ones. Makes life much nicer for everyone. Basically... no breads, or sweets etc... When I started this new eating regime I could tell an immediate difference in the way I felt. I felt less "puffy." I think I'll stick with it, though grilled chicken and lettuce does tend to get old. I have returned to my old ways of living on peanut butter. Mmmmm. i used to eat that gooey stuff for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Seriously. My roommates in college would often make jokes about it. And it's back in my life. But at least this time I just use it for snacking. Big delicious spoonfuls of PB. Corban and I usually snack together. He loves the PB as much as me.

You know... this post is random and not altogether too interesting. Blogging is so much easier when you do it on a regular basis. Confession: my new years resolution was to blog once a week. Fail already.

Anyway, here are some pics that have been taken since the last blog about two months ago. :)

Love this pic.

Another family "Christmas card" picture.

Corban wasn't sure to think about Santa Claus. And I'm not sure what to think about the cheesy snowflakes in the background.

The Bod-fam at Christmas. Corban was already fast asleep. The excitement of Santa wore him out.

His first trip to the Naples zoo.

Me at 24 weeks pregnant. Loving that I can get away with white shorts in January in Florida.

Jamon and his look a like.

Corban has a serious love for his dad. Any second away is torture, as is captured by this picture.

Family Picture