Saturday, September 25, 2010


I'm going to be doing some soul-baring here. Embarrassing... but oh well.

Last week I went shopping. Oh glorious days of shopping. I was given some gift cards to Nordstroms... fondly referred to as Nordies, for my birthday. I knew exactly what I was going to get. Boots. I've been dying for a pair of cognac boots for the past 2 years. I've researched, looked high and low and the time had finally come to buy them.  I left my happy boys at home and headed to the Waterside shops. As I pulled up to the outdoor shopping center I could feel my heart beat a little faster. I drove past Anthropologie, J. Crew, Coach and then finally arrived at Nordies. I parked the car and entered into my old world. If you ask anyone from Austin where I shopped, what I loved, where my default go-to was in the days before Jamon, they'd answer Nordies. And this my friends was the first time I had been inside of a REAL Nordstrom's (not The Rack) in well over a year... maybe two. The chandeliers were beautiful, the piano playing was fabulous and then there where shoes. I meandered around until Mark came to help. I told him which boots I wanted and he happily went to retrieve them. While I was waiting I came across THE most perfect pair of nude shoes. Thank you Michael Kors for knowing how to design. When Mark came back he and I had a long, passionate discussion about the need for said nude shoes. I used phrases like "Ohhh, the perfect replacement for my nude via spigas from a couple years past... so dreamworthy..." blah blah blah. It was like speaking a language from my past, like I had known Chinese, or in this case how to speak about something other than Target t-shirts and how oddly each small doesn't fit the same. Anyway, I browsed the store a bit more, found a pair of jeans that I swear where made for me, someone took my measurements and cut. Glorious. And not to be had. When I called Jamon to ask if I could buy them he gave me a $20 price limit. Well... that could buy the tag... maybe. Off they went and I will be searching ebay incessantly until they show up and I snatch them away from someone else.

After my Nordies experience (seeing and trying on clothes that in reality I could never buy) I was really starting to feel reality set in. This fancy schmancy world was in my past. I don't really get these luxuries any more... but I went to Anthropologie and J Crew anyway... just to look. maybe a good sale was going on. And there was.  And as I cradled the most perfect $20 shirt I remembered that Corban was out of diapers. A box costs $20. Diapers or shirt? Diapers. Yep, reality check. I am a Mom... diapers come first. So I left the glorious world of fine clothing and sparkly over-priced goodies and traipsed back home. Not without stopping to get a Starbucks as therapy for my wordly little embarrassingly material self. On the way home I called Trish, she was a sweet heart and listened as I cried, yes cried. (This is where soul baring becomes embarrasing) I cried because I don't even have a remnant of my past "material life." I have changed and my life is different. Praise be to God who has blessed me with an incredible husband and a son who rocks my world. I wouldn't trade them for an endless shopping spree at all the glorious stores in the world. But last week was the first time I realized that for me it was one or the other. Diapers and food for Corban or a cute shirt for me. A pair of shoes for work or food for a week for Jamon. I'll take the diapers and food thank you very much.

So when I got home from this day of shopping and life lessons I was talking it over with Jamon. He doesn't pretend to understand who Michael Kors is or why I prefer to shop where there are chandeliers versus fluorescent lighting... he just nods and laughs. And then in true Jamon fashion says "Well I think you're the hottest mom around in your target t-shirts." and that was that. Target t-shirts it is. I enjoyed my debt ridden past and am thankful for the clothes I still wear from then... but I'm much more thankful and enjoying my life now. Really... how could I roll on the ground and deal with corban sneezing food on me if I was wearing a $100 shirt? T-shirts seem much more acceptable.


Jen said...

Hey, Off the Rack is still pretty sweet. My Nordstrom shopping is pretty much limited to special occasions (i.e. yay, let's spend my tax refund on a pair of jeans) and crab bisque from the bistro. Right there with you, dear. Love you!

Anonymous said...

You, dear Jess, are so dear and precious and truly, just now ~ "livin' the dream"! Enjoy your journey! You are doing a SUPER job...if wife/mother/friend can be called "job".... ♥Mom