whoa...

Tonight reality set in. Corban is here, Jamon is here, I'm here. But Grandma Bodman and Grandma Copeland are both gone. During the day it's gonna be Corbs and me with the occasional visit from Dad when he can escape from work to stare at his new baby boy. WHOA... what an exciting three weeks it's been.

I'll start at the beginning... Corban made his grand entrance into the world on November 12th, 2009 at 4:48am. He weighed in at 8 lbs and 4oz and was 21 inches long. Starting early that morning (5am) I had contractions, but they were sporadic and mild. Around 6pm or so they started getting more consistent so Jamon and I loaded up the car and headed down to the birthing center. When we got there I was only 4cm so they had me walk around for an hour. When I went back to my room they informed me that I hadn't progressed but that I was extremely dehydrated which is why I was having contractions and was so sick (Yes folks... sick as a dog.) So they pumped me full of fluid and pain medication and said they'd check on me later. When they came back they said I could go home and come back Monday to be induced. I then asked our sweet nurse Miranda to check to see if I had progressed before we made the hour long drive back to Ave. Sure enough I was 6cm. Thus I got to stay put. Around midnight I started the "real" labor. Jamon was sleeping and since I've never had a baby before i wasn't sure if this was the part where I needed Jamons coaching and hand holding or if it was going to get worse... so I let him sleep. When I'd finally had enough, about 4 hours later, and asked the nurse for some sort of pain medication she informed me it was time to push... no time for medicine. So Jamon woke up and 30 minutes later Corban was born. I can assure you, many Hail Marys were said for all who had requested some of the grace from my "suffering." When all was said and done I was exhausted. Jamon was a lifesaver there at the end and let me squeeze the bejeebers out of his arm. He got to see Corban first as I was closed eyed and out of it I was so tired. When I opened my eyes, Corban was laying on my chest. It was a moment I won't forget. Also special to me was seeing Jamon look at our precious little boy with such pride and love and emotion. I get teary eyed just thinking back to that incredible moment. We are SO BLESSED. and like every parent has ever said to me... having a baby really is the most exciting and amazing thing that has every happened.

The first words we spoke to Corban were that we loved him, and most importantly God loved him. He is after all Corban - Dedicated to God.

I never knew I could love so much.

Thursday Mom Bodman arrived. I am SO thankful she came when she did. God's timing is so perfect. Friday morning Jamon left to go to an away basketball game and my mom came to stay with me. We noticed Corban having some concerning shaking so we called in the nurses who observed him. Long story short, his shakes were enough to concern the nurses and Dr. on call so Corban was transferred to the NICU (neo-natal Intensive Care Unit) at the Fort Myers Childrens Hospital that night. I can easily say it was THE longest night of my life. I called Jamon who was already in Tampa, he turned around immediately and made it back to the hospital in time to spend an hour or so together as a family before Corban was transferred.

I have to say here that God is amazing and his plan is more than we can know or imagine. i believe with everything in me this was/is an amazing part of his plan and Corbans story though I cannot even begin to know why we had to endure this roller coaster.

Some interesting things that took place during this emotional time:
As The Dr was telling me that he was transferring Corban to another hospital a dear Priest friend of ours, Fr. Garrity happened to pop in. He said he was "in the neighborhood" and wanted to come give Corban a blessing. He also suggested that we go ahead and baptize Corban. Strangely, as the Dr. was talking to my mom and me, that was my prayer... can we please baptize Corban before he goes. God is so good, and Corban was baptized there in my room. Mom and I were there and knew that a heavenly host of angels and saints joined us. Corban is truly and perfectly God's. Jamon arrived shortly after and we were able to spend some quality time together. it is during this time I understood our marriage as a partnership. We took turns being strong and breaking down. Crying and holding, praying and being prayed for. Jamon is amazing, my partner and best friend. I am SO thankful for our marriage and all the grace that comes with it. To God be the glory.

While we were waiting for the ambulance the Scanlan family stopped by. Unknown to them Corban was being transferred to Ft. myers and when we mentioned it they immediately offered up their home to us. AMAZING... their home is 5 minutes from Corbans hospital. Their generosity is and was a huge blessing to us. Friday night when Corban was transferred I was not yet discharged from the birthing center so Jamon had to go alone to the Nicu, and hour away from mom and me. The next morning I was discharged and we went to Ft. Myers and were able to feed Corban and love on him.  Before I could see Corban I was readmitted into triage for a little complication with the stitches. UGH. an hour later I was released and off I went to see my precious boy. Just as we were arriving Corban's neurologist was leaving. He told us that he had run his eeg and couldn't find any problems. He diagnosed Corban with benine neo-natal blah blah blah... basically, he shakes like he has a bad case of the hiccups, but only in his sleep and there wasn't anything we could do but keep an eye on his to make sure they didn't develop into anything more. Praise the LORD... it was nothing serious. The nurses and Dr's at the childrens hospital were wonderful!

Saturday night we stayed at the Scanlans and prayed and believed that Corban would be discharged by 11am on Sunday morning. Sure enough, as we were sitting at breakfast we received the phone call from the Dr... Corban was all ours. We could take him home. Though he was only there for 2 nights... it was an eternity to Jamon and me.

Sunday we came home, exhausted, thankful and absolutely in love with our perfect baby boy.

Mom Bodman was an ANGEL. She cooked and cleaned and told me I was a good mom. Her words of encouragement and her presence were such a gift to me. I cannot imagine experiencing that first week without her. God is so good.

Mom Copeland passed Mom bodman in the airport and stayed for a couple of weeks. Also a huge blessing and help. Dad Copeland and Uncle Brenton flew into Ave Maria for thanksgiving and we had a blast. Corban loves his grandma's, grandpa's and Uncle. For sure!!!! I loved having everyone around... especially for thanksgiving since jamon was gone on a basketball tournament.

Our families are truly a gift from the Lord. We are so blessed and so thankful.

And that brings me to now. Mom Copeland left this afternoon and I realized as Corban and I strolled around the neighborhood, tomorrow I'll have to take a shower and I won't have anyone to listen for or hold Corban. Jamon will probably want dinner... and I won't have a mom cooking it for all of us. Corban might be fussy and I'll probably want to sleep... but no mom will be here to step in so i can nap. Nope... just Corban and me during the day. I'm excited about our family figuring out how to "be" but I'm also nervous. I prayed hard and will continue to do so knowing that only by the grace of God and the help of Mother Mary will i be able to do this. I must say though... I LOVE being a mom.

Corban is amazing and I fall more in love with him each day (I didn't even think it was possible since I already loved him so much!) I love holding him and talking to him and listening to him. I could stare at him for hours and often do. I love our special time nursing. I love dancing around the house to our "Mommy and Corban" ipod mix. I love everything about this little person. Praise is always on my lips.. our God is so good and kind. I can still hardly believe that He thought Jamon and I should have such a gift. We are humbled and blessed.

Corban is squirming now so I know it's just about feeding time. I'm sure there is plenty I still need to write about and many special graces that God gave us during this time. Ohhhh, I've got to go, but as a note to myself, I need to write about his 8th day Dr's appointment, his awesome pediatrician, the prayers of SO MANY and how I know Corban is destined to lead souls to Christ... he already is.

Love, praise and blessings...

Jessica